The World According To E, Ryan and The Girl

scared

Lily really wants to be a superhero.

Lily: I'm not afraid of anything!

Mom: You're afraid of swimming.

Lily: Oh yeah.

Me: And you're afraid of bugs.

Lily: Yes.

(pause)

Lily: But you know what I'm not afraid of? Fighting monsters!

E checks in

We were driving through a Chinese restaurant drive-thru and everyone asked for a fortune cookie.

E: Fortunes are always nice. You never see one like "you need to work on your attitude" or "your jokes are horrible. You need some new jokes."

that a girl

Lily loves baseball. LOVES. Since she watched her brother play, she asks me to practice with her all the time. And she's actually quite good considering her size (very small) and experience (none). She always wants to know when she'll be able to play on a team like her brother.

After practicing one day we were walking into the house from the backyard and I said "really good job Lily" and she said "When I play on a team, everyone is going to say 'that girl is the best player out here.'

my wife's life

Ryan and I were wrestling in my wife and I's bed. He pinched my nose and so I pinched his back and we both held on, neither of us willing to let go. 

Just then my wife walked in and said "Oh what the hell?"

not what I expected

Lily opened a fortune cookie and asked me to read it.

Me: It says "Now is a good time to try something new."

Lily: What does that mean?

Me: It means you should do something you've never done before.

(she thinks)

Lily: Can I make sausage?