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05/26/2011

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Jackass of All Trades

This *will* sound harsh, but

1. He won't "get into the game" because he knows you are not a threat. Anything and everything you do for them is in the name of love - and he knows that too well.

2. Thanks to the kind of family you have built, Ryan is insulated from the very real horrors of the world. He may not feel the need to learn to be tougher.

3. It *might* work to use his love for his siblings. Like, "Ryan, you're the eldest and the eldest is there to protect and look after the younger ones." Maybe he doesn't get to hear this as often because of his special needs. But I am hoping that this sense of REALLY playing big brother might do him some good. (Or maybe that's just me since I feel good playing eldest with my younger friends.)

4. You could play pretend that you are a bad guy who wants to put the younger ones in harm's way, and that it's up to Ryan to save all three of them. Of course this would require a lot of talking about it with Mom and the other two. It would seem like a cruel game to play but maybe in the context of gradually introducing the possibility of - God forbid - an unpleasant situation as well as preparedness for when you cannot be physically there for him, he might form the idea that some situations would merit his toughness.

Lastly, "You don't have to fight to be a man; but when you're a man, sometimes you have to fight."

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I have three children: Ryan (12), Ethan (9) and Lily (6). One is autistic, one gifted and one adopted. This is a record of some of the amazing things they say and do. I try to stop and look around at least once a day.

"When I'm having a bad day, I come to this page."

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