The World According To E, Ryan and The Girl

the rest of the story

Ever wanted to know what Jack looked like at the bottom of the hill?

 

time for a diet

Lily asked me why a woman's belly had gotten so big. I said because there is a baby growing inside her.

Lily: Do men have babies?

Me: No, men don't have the parts to have babies.

Lily: Then why is your belly so big?

sucker

Lily: Daddy, do you have a one dollar? I want to see what it looks like.

Me: (opens wallet) Sure, here you go.

Lily: (looks at dollar) I'm going to keep this, OK?

visitor

Lily: Daddy, a dinosaur visited our school today.

Me: Really? Wow. What did he say?

Lily: Hi.

Lily's senses

Lily: Daddy, in school we learned the five senses.

Me: That's great Lily! What are they?

Lily: Touch, smell, hear and taste.

Me: Great! But that's only four. Do you remember the fifth?

Lily: (thinks) ...is it lick?

I shouldn't argue with E

Me: You want to go with me and have some super fun?

E: No.

Me: What?!? You don't want to go?

E: I don't want to go.

Me: Aw, E sometimes you're as fun as a stick.

E: Sticks are fun.

Me: What? Sticks are not fun.

E: They are! You can play sword with a stick, jump over the stick and other fun games and stuff.

Me: ...

E: As a matter of fact, I would buy a stick to play with.

 

E-enthusiam

One of the great things about E (now 8 for those of you have been following from the beginning) is that he still gets REALLY enthusiastic about things. This enthusiasm, however, often prevents him from stopping and thinking at all about what he's about to say.

Such was the case when he saw the giant Halloween display at the grocery store this morning.

E: Look at all the pumpkins! Look at this one! Can we get this one? Look at this!

(Stops and runs over very excitedly to another.)

E: LOOK! LOOK HOW HUGE THIS PUMPKIN IS! And it's already carved! We HAVE to get this one!

(Pause)

Wait, wait, no...it's a ceramic. Not real, sorry.

E Philosophy

Part of a longer discussion with E (8) and Lily (5) about happiness.

Me: E, you need to learn to appreciate what you have and not think so much about what you don't have. That's a key to happiness in life. Do you understand?

E: Yeah, like if you have a Pizza Hut pizza and all you can think about is chicken nuggets, you're not going to appreciate the pizza and you should because Pizza Hut is awesome.

scared

Lily really wants to be a superhero.

Lily: I'm not afraid of anything!

Mom: You're afraid of swimming.

Lily: Oh yeah.

Me: And you're afraid of bugs.

Lily: Yes.

(pause)

Lily: But you know what I'm not afraid of? Fighting monsters!

E checks in

We were driving through a Chinese restaurant drive-thru and everyone asked for a fortune cookie.

E: Fortunes are always nice. You never see one like "you need to work on your attitude" or "your jokes are horrible. You need some new jokes."