The World According To E, Ryan and The Girl

E: Daddy, what is the real (scientific) name of the pinkie toe?
Me: Hmmm, I don't know. I'll have to look that up.
E: I think the real name should be the tiny, whiny toe.

Me: Ethan, please stop grinding your teeth.
E: I'm trying to start a fire.

Me: Oh Ethan, you have such a great big beautiful heart.
E: Actually Daddy, your heart is only about the size of your fist.

brain head part 2

E is worried that one day he might be "too smart." I told him he probably shouldn't worry about that since I wasn't even sure what that meant.

E: Well, what if your brain got so big it couldn't fit in your head?

E: (yelling from bathroom) Daddy! The cut on my finger from today is gone!
Me: What? That's not possible.
E: It's gone already! It's...oh wait, sorry, I was looking at the wrong hand.

TV: Humans use only 10 percent of their brains.
E: I think humans use more than percent of their brains! And what about dogs?

E: I've got some good news and some bad news from outside play today at school.
Me: What's the good news?
E: The good news is I found a ladybug. A BLACK one with red spots.
E: (pause) The bad news is I fell on my knee.

 

 

(Thanks to Hannah from New Zealand for the photo proving the black ladybugs with red spots do exist.)

We were all in the car and the kids starting cracking up calling my funny names made up of something and then "head." Like "Hey banana-head." And then I would reply. "Uhh..no I don't think have a banana for a head." This went on for a while and someone said "Hey popcorn-head."

E: Do you know what the advantages of being a popcorn-head would be?
Me: Umm...No. (thinking this ought to be good)
E: Well, first you can eat your head if you're hungry because the popcorn would grow back.
Me: Right.
E: Also, if you fell over some of the popcorn would spill out and it would be like a cushion when your head hit the ground.
Me: OK.
E: AND if you jumped up in the air, you'd have your own confetti.

E: You need to be careful when you use a sewing machine. If you're not looking, you know what? You could sew your hands together.

dietary restriction

E: Grandma, don't give Ryan too many potato chips or he'll get all salty inside.